Monday, September 2, 2013

50 Shades of AWESOME.

Like most of you have heard, E.L. James tweeted out the news that we (the readers of the world) finally have our Anastasia Steele and Christen Grey.

From what I'm seeing, A LOT of people are pissed off over this, but like I've been telling my friends: Charlie Hunnam is what is going to make me show up to the jam packed estrogen filled theater and sit through two hours of shit, because he's Charlie fucking Hunnam.
Have I read the books? YES
Actually even better, I read the original Twilight fanficiton as the author was publishing it chapter by chapter on and a site called Twilighted. Which is why when the actual PUBLISHED book came out, I couldn't figure out why in the fuck someone would gank another author's character and then publish it for personal gain. I mean really? Plus it didn't help that everyone and their fucking mother kept asking me: 
"OHMAHGAH have you read 50?"
"OHMAHGAH it's so kinky! I felt so dirty reading it!"
"OHMAHGAH Christen Grey is the sexiest Alpha Male EVAR!"   <.< no fucking way. Nope.
While everyone is falling in love with 50 for the first time, I'm over here remembering shit like this:
 And this:

Oh let's not forget this:
And one more for the road.
You see, this fanficiton had a MAJOR following. The dirty little birdies loved their even dirtier worms, and after reading the published/mass market version of Master of the Universe/50 Shades. I just had to shake my damn head. It's fucking Edward and Bella fanficiton, still. Other people don't see it, but I do and this is my view point. So I never really jumped on to the 50 Shade bandwagon or gave a rats ass about the movie until now.
I don't give a fuck that Christen Grey is going to the big screen, but I sure as hell want to see Charlie Hunnam in a "Dom" role. 
Fuck yes. 
Take my $12 and let me see that man's ass 
AT LEAST 50 times in the fucking movie 
and I'll die happy. 
Because the truth of the matter is, it doesn't matter who they cast to portray the parts, the movie will still be shit. It's already been said that there won't be nearly as much "kink" as depicted in the books on the silver screen.
I don't even think it'll be rated R. lol
Plus movies that are based off of books NEVER out shine the book.
Let's call it a fact of life. 
I'm not going to the theater to watch 50 Shades of Grey and have a life experience.
I'm going to get my rocks off and add a few much needed images to my spank bank, while acting like a total sexist pig because fuck...
My brain just can't handle it dude.
Really it can't. 
I never once thought I'd be excited for this movie to come out, but now I'm sitting here stoked out and typing all of my feels about how giddy I am over this shit!
I should probably mention somewhere in here that I think Charlie is not only one of the hottest males on the planet, but he's also a really good actor. I hope this role doesn't put a damper on his career, but instead shoots him off into movie stardom because dude really does deserves it.
Soooo yeah. I guess the rioting will last a few more days...maybe weeks, before everyone settles down and stalks the progress of the movie.
I think that it's due to be out in 2014, but I'm honestly not sure what the actual date will be. 
And while I know that some people truly are pissed off over this, relax man. It's just a movie. Give this guy a chance and maybe, JUST MAYBE, you'll be surprised.


Oh and one last thing, I didn't mention the girl that was cast as Ana because I know nothing about her. I just pray to god that there is NO mention of an inner fucking goddess in the entire movie. I don't know if I'll be able to stomach that shit. 
I'd also like to add that IDGAF if someone takes their Twilight fanfciton and reworks it to publish it as a different story AWAY from the Twilight fanfiction world. Go for it bro! Honestly, my number one issue with the 50 Trilogy, was that they were being charged at $9.99 for EACH ebook. 
That's a fucking rip off and a half.

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